A lot of men have fantasies about being a slave and those fantasies usually women as being a mere erotic image, a leather clad goddess who will satisfy their every kinky desire. The fact that she is a flesh and blood person with needs and desires of her own never really enters the equation. The potential slave always claims to have no limits and when he is with her he is constantly waiting the moment when she will fulfil his desires.
But being a sub or a slave is not a fantasies- yes fantasies can be fulfiled- It's a comitment. At least it is to my mind. It's a relationship based on total honesty. If a person is not willing to give that then the relationship just will not work. Like any good relationship it is about what you can bring to the table. What qualities do you have as a person that would make a Domme or Mistress consider collaring you? If you have nothing to offer as a person that what can you offer as a slave. The parts of you as a person and the parts of you that contain the slave heart need to blend together as a whole.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
It's been a while
Well I haven't updated this blog in a very long time. I've been lazy. Shame on me. And quite a lot has happened.Unfortunately most of it has been relation to my vanilla life but there has been some stuff in relation to the other and considering that the non vanilla aspect of my life is totally non depressive then I'm gonna focus on that.
Went to the last Nimhneach au femme. It's something I've been thinking about doing for a while and it was a lot of fun to totally change my image for one night. Many thanks to Beatrix for lending me the clothes and doing the make up. I think she did a pretty good job. I thought I looked pretty hot. But I may be slightly prejudiced there. LOL.
I also did a shoot with Stella and Dommy darko, which was a lot of fun. Stella looked fantastic in a purple and black corset and totally kick ass boots. I was wearing a pvc catsuit, dog mask and paws. We got a lot of attention- lots of car honking. The most amazing thing about it was that I was stone cold sober while doing the shoot but wasn't the least bit self conscious.
Got the photos yesterday and even though I'm in them I think they look stunning. Dommy did a fantastic job. I have the photos up on my fetlife profile. Hard to choose one but if I had to theres something about the one in black and white that really stands out. Fetish noir?
I'd certainly do more shoots. A beach would be pretty cool.
I'm probably a bit of an exhibitionist if truth be told, I love the whole vibe of public play. You can reallly feed off the energy of a crowd as they're watching you play. At least I can. It's not the same for everybody. Some people prefer the intimacy of a bedroom. I like that too but I'd need to have a really good connection before that happens. In many ways BDSM play is much more intimate than sex and you need a much deeper level of trust.
Went to the last Nimhneach au femme. It's something I've been thinking about doing for a while and it was a lot of fun to totally change my image for one night. Many thanks to Beatrix for lending me the clothes and doing the make up. I think she did a pretty good job. I thought I looked pretty hot. But I may be slightly prejudiced there. LOL.
I also did a shoot with Stella and Dommy darko, which was a lot of fun. Stella looked fantastic in a purple and black corset and totally kick ass boots. I was wearing a pvc catsuit, dog mask and paws. We got a lot of attention- lots of car honking. The most amazing thing about it was that I was stone cold sober while doing the shoot but wasn't the least bit self conscious.
Got the photos yesterday and even though I'm in them I think they look stunning. Dommy did a fantastic job. I have the photos up on my fetlife profile. Hard to choose one but if I had to theres something about the one in black and white that really stands out. Fetish noir?
I'd certainly do more shoots. A beach would be pretty cool.
I'm probably a bit of an exhibitionist if truth be told, I love the whole vibe of public play. You can reallly feed off the energy of a crowd as they're watching you play. At least I can. It's not the same for everybody. Some people prefer the intimacy of a bedroom. I like that too but I'd need to have a really good connection before that happens. In many ways BDSM play is much more intimate than sex and you need a much deeper level of trust.
Friday, September 10, 2010
BDSM: The Journey that never earns
I've been active within the Irish BDSM scene for almost three years now. I attend Nimhneach fetish club on a very regular basis and I've been to a number of fetish parties both in dublin and outside but the roots go back much longer. Decades.
It's difficult to say when exactly it began; probably my early teens and it started totally as a fetish. I'd always had a slightly odd feeling around girls who wore patent leather shoes or shiny leather boots and girls who were slightly agressive. I had fantasies about being made to do things by them, being told to kiss their shoes or boots. I thought that it was just a phase and that I'd grow out of it, the same way you grow bored with a rock band when you're in your teens.
But even though they subsided as the years went on, the feelings were always there in the back on my mind. I read some the Gor novels and fantasised about being a slave to a Gorean woman. When I was about 19, I finallly plucked up the courage and rang the phone number of a Pro Domme. I'd torn the page with her number out of a magazine about six months previously and stuck it in a jacket pocket.
I went to her apt and played with her for about an hour. Boot worship, pet play and verbal humilation. I enjoyed the experience very much. The itch had finally been scratched.Now I could get back to living a nice uncomplicated life. But that didn't happen.
The feelings kept resurfacing. Sometimes they would lie buried for years but eventually they announced themselves once again. Visits to pro Dommes only served to put ointment on the itch.
It was only when I made my first visit to Nimhneach- when it was still in the vodoo lounge- that things began to click into place. I wasn't alone. I'd always felt like an outsider, as if i didn't really belong but now I felt like part of a community. It was almost like having a family who totally excepted me for who I was.
It encouraged me to take a long and thoughtful look at myself and one thing in particular struck me All my relationships had been with dominant women- not always positively dominant- but i definitely tended to gravitate towards those types of women and i liked making women happy. There was a certain buzz about serving them. And I didnt want anything in return. Their contentment was enough for me. Not very macho in a lot of people's eyes but that's what being part of the BDSM community has brought to me. As long as you are behaving in a safe, sane and consensual manner then other people's eyes dont really matter. It's your own eyes that matter most; being able to look at yourself in a totally honest way, being truthful as living your life as full person and not just the image that society tries to label you with. And if that means you choose to define yourself as a slave or a master or a Mistress within your relationship then so be it. Its better to live as a proud slave then an empty and hollow vessel.
Life is to be lived, not to be endured.
It's difficult to say when exactly it began; probably my early teens and it started totally as a fetish. I'd always had a slightly odd feeling around girls who wore patent leather shoes or shiny leather boots and girls who were slightly agressive. I had fantasies about being made to do things by them, being told to kiss their shoes or boots. I thought that it was just a phase and that I'd grow out of it, the same way you grow bored with a rock band when you're in your teens.
But even though they subsided as the years went on, the feelings were always there in the back on my mind. I read some the Gor novels and fantasised about being a slave to a Gorean woman. When I was about 19, I finallly plucked up the courage and rang the phone number of a Pro Domme. I'd torn the page with her number out of a magazine about six months previously and stuck it in a jacket pocket.
I went to her apt and played with her for about an hour. Boot worship, pet play and verbal humilation. I enjoyed the experience very much. The itch had finally been scratched.Now I could get back to living a nice uncomplicated life. But that didn't happen.
The feelings kept resurfacing. Sometimes they would lie buried for years but eventually they announced themselves once again. Visits to pro Dommes only served to put ointment on the itch.
It was only when I made my first visit to Nimhneach- when it was still in the vodoo lounge- that things began to click into place. I wasn't alone. I'd always felt like an outsider, as if i didn't really belong but now I felt like part of a community. It was almost like having a family who totally excepted me for who I was.
It encouraged me to take a long and thoughtful look at myself and one thing in particular struck me All my relationships had been with dominant women- not always positively dominant- but i definitely tended to gravitate towards those types of women and i liked making women happy. There was a certain buzz about serving them. And I didnt want anything in return. Their contentment was enough for me. Not very macho in a lot of people's eyes but that's what being part of the BDSM community has brought to me. As long as you are behaving in a safe, sane and consensual manner then other people's eyes dont really matter. It's your own eyes that matter most; being able to look at yourself in a totally honest way, being truthful as living your life as full person and not just the image that society tries to label you with. And if that means you choose to define yourself as a slave or a master or a Mistress within your relationship then so be it. Its better to live as a proud slave then an empty and hollow vessel.
Life is to be lived, not to be endured.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Who is really in control?
I suppose the most obvious answer to the question is the sub. He can say stop or use the safe word at any stage and then everything stops. The scene ends. But doesn't that change when the scene is with somebody you care about, that you value deeply as a human being and person and not just as a role? Then doesn't the power dynamic shift almost totally, if not completely to the Domme?
As a sub you can feel a very deep connection, almost as if she's inside you. it makes you want to push harder and harder, to take more pain and humilation because you don't want to lose that connection, that sense of total freedom and release. Theres almost a conflict. you feel yourself wanting to use the safe word but something stops you. I can take more you tell yourself. The pain is worth it if it makes her happy, if that look in her eye remains. And that, I believe is where empathy from the Domme is essential, the ability to read a person. knowing that it is time to stop and then making the sub feel that she felt the connection too as he slowly comes down. she takes power but she also gives it back.
As a sub you can feel a very deep connection, almost as if she's inside you. it makes you want to push harder and harder, to take more pain and humilation because you don't want to lose that connection, that sense of total freedom and release. Theres almost a conflict. you feel yourself wanting to use the safe word but something stops you. I can take more you tell yourself. The pain is worth it if it makes her happy, if that look in her eye remains. And that, I believe is where empathy from the Domme is essential, the ability to read a person. knowing that it is time to stop and then making the sub feel that she felt the connection too as he slowly comes down. she takes power but she also gives it back.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Here comes the weekend
I really should be writing on this a lot more than I am but real life, ie work is causing a certain degree of lethargy. But at least the weekend is nearly here. Party on saturday night. Roseannas birthday. I wont say what age she is because she's obviously lying about it. There's no way she is anywhere near that age. LOL.
I'll write some more on sunday or maybe even sooner. It depends how lazy I'm feeling
I'll write some more on sunday or maybe even sooner. It depends how lazy I'm feeling
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Frustrated
So I'm a little bit frustrated at the moment, although I'm not sure if that's the right word to use. And the strange thing is that I shouldn't be frustrated at all. I'm having loads of fun at the moment. Great times of Nimhneach and various parties; plenty of play with various people. But I feel as though there's something missing. I really need a regular play parthner, someone that I have a really good connection with.
There are things that I like and enjoy and which can send me very deeply into sub space but i dont want to become a do me sub, somebody who only thinks about his own needs and pleasures. Submission should- at least in my own opinion - be about what you can give and how you can be better at serving. That should be the ultimate reward and goal. Anything else is the icing on the cake.
If a submissive constantly gets the things he wants then how can he grow? Because to me this is all about growth. Its about becoming a better and less selfish person through the acts of service and submission. I'll probably get there eventually. It's a matter of having the right mindset. And I think that I'm developing that.
There are things that I like and enjoy and which can send me very deeply into sub space but i dont want to become a do me sub, somebody who only thinks about his own needs and pleasures. Submission should- at least in my own opinion - be about what you can give and how you can be better at serving. That should be the ultimate reward and goal. Anything else is the icing on the cake.
If a submissive constantly gets the things he wants then how can he grow? Because to me this is all about growth. Its about becoming a better and less selfish person through the acts of service and submission. I'll probably get there eventually. It's a matter of having the right mindset. And I think that I'm developing that.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Nimhneach
So once again another great night at Nimhneach last night. I was in two minds as to whether or not I'd go as i wasn't feeling a hundred per cent but I'm glad I did. That's the thing about Nimhneach it's the nights you don't feel totally up for it that turn out to be the best.
There was a great turn out. Approximately 180 people according to the organisers. The BDSM scene seems to be getting bigger and bigger and always great to see new people there. It took a while for me to totally relax. Lots of visits to the smoking area. As usual. But after a few cigarettes and beers I was totally in the vibe.
No regular play parthner at the moment which is a bit disappointing but I always manage to have fun and I enjoy chatting with the people there. There is a real sense of community about the whole thing.
I had some fun with Liz, who looked fab. She was in Domme mode and was deliciously wicked. After putting me in the cage for a little while, she lead me around on the leash like a puppy. And some very erotic shoe licking soon followed. And a light spanking. I also got my customary face slap from Roseanna. The night wouldn't be the same without one of them.
There was a great turn out. Approximately 180 people according to the organisers. The BDSM scene seems to be getting bigger and bigger and always great to see new people there. It took a while for me to totally relax. Lots of visits to the smoking area. As usual. But after a few cigarettes and beers I was totally in the vibe.
No regular play parthner at the moment which is a bit disappointing but I always manage to have fun and I enjoy chatting with the people there. There is a real sense of community about the whole thing.
I had some fun with Liz, who looked fab. She was in Domme mode and was deliciously wicked. After putting me in the cage for a little while, she lead me around on the leash like a puppy. And some very erotic shoe licking soon followed. And a light spanking. I also got my customary face slap from Roseanna. The night wouldn't be the same without one of them.
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