Sunday, May 29, 2011

The look and the silence that says more than a thousand words

She looks at you. She does not speak. She looks at you. Her eyes say the words. She looks at you. And her eyes speak. Deep inside you they echo. You are mine. You do not hear the words. Deep inside you you feel them. You are mine.
You kneel before her. she looks at you. She does not speak. You are mine. You don't know why you kneel. You feel so humble. She does not speak. She looks at you. You are mine. You feel the power of the silent words vibrate inside your body. Your heart swells up. You lower your head and you kiss her feet. You don't why you kiss her feet. You cannot see her eyes but you can feel them. You can feel them touching you. you can feel them deep inside you. It's almost as if she is holding a mirror in front of you and showing you your secret reflection. A reflection that you keep buried. Because you thought that it was ugly and weak.
And now she shows you how beautiful and strong it is. You are at her feet. And she touches you. Your heart swells up. You feel a tightness against your neck. she raises your head so that you can see her eyes again. She does not speak. And then you see the collar. You feel the tightness. Has she turned you into a dog you wonder. Dogs wear collars.
Gently. she lays her hand on your head and you are at her feet again. And she never speaks. She does not need to. Her eyes say more than words ever could. You are mine. Yes, your heart replies. I am.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Freed into slavery

To kneel before you,
To bow down to you,
To worship and even pray to you as though you were God,
to be humbled by you,
To abase myself before you,
To choose slavery with open eyes and heart,
To be all that you desire,
To feel your your touch and to see you glow,
To know that I am yours.
To crawl to your feet and lay down before you and await your command,
Or just to lie in silence,
While my heart beats in rhythm with the echo of your power,
To listen to your voice,
To discover my soul through servitude and surrender,
To know with a glance what it is you require.
For words not to be required,
To be chained before you,
And to feel the chains of the heart ripped free,
To be freed into slavery

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Darkness that turned on a light

I was reborn into darkness,
Into dark desires,
And in those dark desires I found a light,
A light that illuminated,
And revealed with clarity,
All that I am and can be and desire to be.
And to find light,
You must stumble through darkness for a time,
And struggle with shame and guilt,
Until the you that is truly you is opened up.
There is no shame in kneeling with a bowed head,
to prostate yourself at the feet of one,
Who will lead you deeper into the light,
Who will accept you as you truly are,
beyond flesh,
To the very core of your being,
One who will touch you,
And guide you,
Bring you to your knees but never let you fall.

Monday, May 16, 2011

He offers service: poem

To his eyes and heart she was a queen,
Though she did not wear regal clothing or speak with regal air,
But still he knelt before her and offered service.
Which, at first, she declined,
And told him not to kneel,
Because kneeling seemed like weakness to her eyes,
To which he replied
"I do not Kneel to show you my weakness, I kneel to offer you my strength."
She mused upon this for a time,
Looking down upon him with her eyes,
And felt his strength combining with her own.
And now he serves with strength and pride,
wears her collar,
And by doing so no weakness is defined,
Only her strength and his combined,
To form something divine.

Friday, May 13, 2011


So these are just a few random reflections that I'm having at the moment, clearing out the cobwebs of my mind. I've been involved in the scene seriously now for a little over three years. I've met some great people and had some wonderful scenes. So far I have enjoyed myself immensely and I sincerely hope that I continue to do so.
   But I find myself at a crossroads. The next part will probably sound somewhat selfish but I want more. And I'm not even sure if want is the correct word to use. At times it is almost like a craving, as though there is a part of me inside that is caged in a blanket of darkness. The light is very close by but I am struggling to find the switch. That light is the light of true connection, when you are connected with somebody not just in the context of your respective roles but as people.
   It is not an easy thing to achieve and there have been times when I doubted if it could be achieved. Maybe I needed to compromise my principals? I Know that many people within the scene have done that. But then if you compromise on something that is very much a part of you then aren't you selling yourself short?  You can fake it I suppose but inside you would always know the truth and it would constantly gnaw at you, leaving you hollow inside.
  I guess what I'm saying is that it can be difficult to find somebody who really gets you. Not just as the person who is standing in front of them but who you are inside, the person that you want to be but something holds you back. You don't know what it is. The light switch is in front of you but you just can't seem to find it. 
   Sometimes I feel as though my hand is hovering over the light switch. All I need to do is just switch it on.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Poems reflecting my submission.

Yours to command,
Yours at your feet,
Yours by your side,
Yours to take your pain and sorrow and draw it inside myself,
Yours to take the pain that you give,
Yours beyond thought, word or deed,
Yours, with the worst of me discarded and only the good remaining,
Yours in both darkness and light and the shadow in between,
Yours, to tremble beneath your touch,
Yours sliced open until only truth remains,
Yours in all that I am, all I can be and all that I desire to be,
Yours in both slavery and humanity

Lying on the floor,
Licking your boot,
While the heel of your other boot grinds me down
It feels like a little death
the way my heart is beating and the way my body trembles
Your words, soft and gentle and mocking
drop down upon me like jewels from a distance
My mind is racing and there are so many things I wish I could say to you
But I've said them before so I keep silent
And just breathe in the power that you have over me
Though I have said it
You will never know
How much It hurts
When you hurt
or when you don't see who you are inside
you will
And you'll glow
And you'll burn
Because the beauty outside you cannot touch the beauty I see inside you
There are times
When I wish that I could harden myself against you
And cast you aside
When you hurt me
But then I get a glimpse of the beauty inside you
And I dissolve.
You are more than you think you are
Know that

Goddess and fire.

you are not perfect,
you are flawed and human,
There are blemishes,
But inside,
There is a fire that burns,
A fire that rages with a passion that raises you up,
And the fire draws some closer,
And they see the Goddess inside you.
A Power that cannot be verbalised or put into words,
A power that inspires worship and obedience,
As knees are brought down,
And heads are bowed in supplication,
The slave at your feet, eyes glowing with adoration,
Is burned by the fire.
The fire warms and cleanses and draws the best of him towards you,
He sees beyond the flaws and imperfections,
And the slave cannot speak.
You have turned on the light inside him,
And shown him your power,
And the power that has always been inside him,
The power of Submission and surrender,
You have shown all he can be by revealing the fire inside you.
A true Goddess Is neither divine nor flawless,
But rises above,
To ignite the flame,
So her fire can rage eternal