So I'm a little bit frustrated at the moment, although I'm not sure if that's the right word to use. And the strange thing is that I shouldn't be frustrated at all. I'm having loads of fun at the moment. Great times of Nimhneach and various parties; plenty of play with various people. But I feel as though there's something missing. I really need a regular play parthner, someone that I have a really good connection with.
There are things that I like and enjoy and which can send me very deeply into sub space but i dont want to become a do me sub, somebody who only thinks about his own needs and pleasures. Submission should- at least in my own opinion - be about what you can give and how you can be better at serving. That should be the ultimate reward and goal. Anything else is the icing on the cake.
If a submissive constantly gets the things he wants then how can he grow? Because to me this is all about growth. Its about becoming a better and less selfish person through the acts of service and submission. I'll probably get there eventually. It's a matter of having the right mindset. And I think that I'm developing that.